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I am aware that the strangest things make me chuckle. You know, things that when repeated, no one seems to find it as cute as I did. I think this may be one of those times.
Last week my line of work took me to a nearby Alzheimer's facility. I love that population. Not sure why. But my coworker, Lisa, and I were going to a section that one needed a code to enter. Lisa entered the code, and just as I was going to open the door, I noticed a resident coming toward us, checking doors, looking for a way out. She got to us just as we were attempting to enter. The resident tried to push past me to escape, but I attempted to redirect by putting my hand up in front of her and moving forward. She wasn't going to be deterred, so she ended up pushing against my hand. The door eventually closed so she couldn't escape. But not before she said, without looking at me, "Keep your hands by yourself!"
I don't know. It just struck me as funny.
Guess you had to be there.
Chelle
Sometimes we get the pleasure in church to sit behind a very cute little boy, probably about 3 or 4 years old. He has no problem saying what he thinks, at a voice much too loud for a church meeting. A few weeks ago, he whispered something to his mom, she got up to walk out, he followed, and as he passed our row, he said in his cute loud voice, "I'm going to go pee!"
One time recently, the passing of the sacrament was going on. This is a very quiet ritual, with people bowing their heads, or just sitting quietly, pondering. In our church, the young men go around the congregation and pass the sacrament tray down the rows. They stand at the end of the row waiting for a tray to return to them, then they go to the next row. A young man had passed the sacrament to this little boy's row, the little boy took his portion, and then began staring at the young man. He watched him at his row, at our row, and finally at the row behind us. Apparently, he finally made eye contact with the young man, and said - louder than his regular loud - "Thanks, dude!"
What a cutie.
Chelle
I know it's a bit late, as this little tid-bit of information should certainly have come well before today, but I rather enjoyed reading it this morning, so I wanted to share with all of you. Plus, it is very possible this might come in handy on other occasions as well, if nothing else, maybe we can all remember it for next year.
How to Survive If You Have No One To Kiss On New Year's Eve1. Kiss a pet. Dogs are generally agreeable and have clean mouths. Cats are usually well groomed but are more passive and tend to get rather than give. Keep your mouth closed.
2. Kiss yourself. Find a mirror, pucker up, lean close, and kiss. Keep your lips slightly parted. Do not attempt to use your tongue. Wipe the mirror after you have completed your kiss. You may also try kissing the back of your hand.
3. Hug a pillow. Full-body pillows are more satisfying.
4. Call a friend on the phone. After you wish your friend a Happy New Year, give the telephone mouthpiece loud, smacking kisses.
What more can I add to that...it's all there. Happy New Year!
-Chel
For my job, I get to visit vulnerable adults who may have been abused, neglected, or exploited. Sometimes these cases are closed pretty quickly because there's nothing to them, the adult is fine with the conditions, or a myriad of other reasons. But one thing that's the same in each case, I have to see the alleged victim face to face, by law.
One case, I had a difficult time seeing the woman. I knew I was being dodged, but couldn't figure out how to get in the door. Finally, I left my business card on her door and that very afternoon, she called me. I explained that I needed to see her and she said she was fine. I explained again I needed to see her face, and she said, "I know someone thinks my family member is abusing me, but they're not." I said I would like the opportunity to discuss that in person and she said, "Fine. Can you wait until the bruises heal?"
I paused, not sure what to make of such a thing, and this was long enough for her to laugh and say, "I'm kidding!"
Maybe I'm jaded ... because that was very funny!
Chelle
We were at a Chel family gathering and were all sharing news about our families. This one struck us as particularly funny, and so worth sharing.
Chel's nephew, who we'll call Jeremiah, just turned 7. Not long ago, he and a few friends were discussing teeth, and likely got to the subject of teeth falling out, as they do when you're 6 and 7. They got to wondering, it seems, if one could actually push teeth out with a thumb. Jeremiah volunteered to be the thumb. Another boy volunteered his teeth. Jeremiah put his thumb expertly on one of the boy's teeth, and pushed. Sure enough, he pushed the tooth right out!
Not to be less than expert scientists, they decided it would be better if there were actually two results. Maybe the first boy just had weak teeth. So boy number two then volunteered his own teeth. Jeremiah again put his thumb expertly on the other boy's tooth, and pushed. Their experiment was a great success!
You can indeed push teeth out with your thumb.
Chelle
This one just struck me as funny.
Reminds me of a town near where I grew up. The entrance sign read, "Welcome to ***. Home of 541 nice people and one old grouch."
They've since changed the sign. I guess the old grouch passed on ...
Chelle
In preparation for the upcoming turkey feast, I felt the following information might come in very handy.
How to Extinguish A Burning Turkey
 1) Close the oven and broiler doors. Turn off the oven. 2) Open nearby windows. Smoke will pour out the oven vent. If possible, close the doors to the kitchen to contain the smoke. 3) Wait five minutes. Ovens are designed for high heat and should contain the fire without a problem. Keep the doors closed to avoid adding oxygen to the fire. 4) Open the oven door slightly. After five minutes, the turkey fire should have burned itself out. If it is still burning, close the door immediately and wait several minutes before opening the door again. If the fire continues to burn for more than ten minutes, call the fire department (and then go out to eat). Happy Cooking! -Chel
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